im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
