is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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