Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
