i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
