Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
