I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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