I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Two words: blizzard sex
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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