hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
