I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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