He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
