Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
