Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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