just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
