That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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