It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
