this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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