She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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