did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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