farters have to be the big spoon...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The uberlube is also flammable
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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