If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
