Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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