My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
As shirtless as possible
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
