so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
