Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
