Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I am one with the molecules
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
