Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Your cock deserves a montage
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
