I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
