u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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