Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
