Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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