That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
