i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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