do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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