Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
