Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
