Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm at about main and main street
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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