your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
