did you get engaged???
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Can I color on your dick again?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
