what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
