Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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