Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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