U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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