i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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