let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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