JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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