Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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