when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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