Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
