i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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