I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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