I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
